Ties That Bind

Perchance as you read those things which I feel to put down upon the page you ask yourself "who does he think he is" saying <such and such>?  Perhaps you think "how wonderful it must be to be so perfect" or "to have it all together" or "to have such a wonderful life". Well, to answer the first question - who does he think is he - allow me...


"I have a wonderful, picture perfect family life?"


I can honestly say I hope yours is not as wonderful as mine is.


My wife and I have been apart for quite some time now - years to be exact - and I played a pretty significant role in that initial separation.  No details since, obviously, more than myself involved but trust me when I say a "significant role".  I have two incredible daughters and my relationship with them is far less than perfect even on the best of days. Honestly, most of the time, I feel like an utter failure as a father to them.


My relationship with my other immediate family is far less than stellar as well due in no small part to my own actions.  Granted, it is better now than perhaps it had been once but is not even close to the loving 1980's sitcom family.


So yeah, I honestly hope yours is not the same kind of wonderful that mine is.


"Had an easy life with few, if any, major issues?"


The list of major mistakes that I have made in this life thus far is a pretty long one.  I mentioned the marriage situation already. The list of medium - by comparison to the major - mistakes I have made...I am not sure there is an end to that list.  The smaller ones do not even make the cut for this.  And when I say major, I mean major mistakes. I know what selfishness and betrayal feel like - from both the receiver and giver's side.


"Yeah, but that was all before you were saved - now you're all perfect and stuff..."


How I so wish it were all before I was saved - I have been saved for quite some time now - but that is not the case.  I dare say I cannot go a full week without making some serious error in judgement in some area or another of life and, when talking in longer terms like a year, trust me, that list is terrifying to say the least.


I have had no perfect life and no small part of that is due to my own role within it. Sure there have been others who have contributed but in the end, it was mostly (if not entirely) my own fault and doing. And it still continues today even though I am saved.


So should you think, even for a moment, that whatever you have done or been through disqualifies you from the forgiveness of God, you are dead wrong. If He can forgive one such as I, He surely can and will forgive you.


And should you feel like you are failing at your walk with Christ - like you are not near perfect enough for Him - you too, are dead wrong.  I am very, very familiar with the grace of God - I know - and I mean I know - I deserve to be obliterated off the face of the earth before I do something else that results in someone getting hurt somehow....but that is not what I get. What I get is forgiveness, acceptance and more chances than I could ever hope to count.  So if you feel less than perfect, that is okay...you are not alone...you never were.