In the off chance there is anyone reading this who is thinking "wow, you seem to have it all together", allow me to to shatter that illusion for you. I most certainly do not. I am still a human being on this planet. One who has flaws and failings the same as everyone else does. Don't believe me? The following was something that was written the other night.
What a wretched man I am. I have read those words before but now, now I see them from the inside out. How did I get here. Here to this place full of self. I did not want to be here. I yearned to be elsewhere, in a place where I no longer showed. A place where I diminished so that He could be so much more. But here I sit. Here in the place I do not wish to be. And it hurts. I feel the tears straining against the inside of my eyes. The pressure within my chest. How did I get here to this place of self?
Please my God, save me from this self. I gladly would surrender everything of it, if only I truly knew how, since it appears my efforts previous were not enough. I need more. I need more and to have more I must become less. God help me to be less. Please, my God, help me. Please.
Yepper, sure sounds like someone who has it all together doesn't it? I will not go into details but the short form would be that I had a totally selfish reaction to something that I should have been overjoyed about - and it bothered me a great deal.
I know I am not alone. Not only in the sense that God is with me, but also in the sense that other people have had (and do have) such incidents. That is why I am sharing this. There is not much worse of a feeling than to think that you are alone in something or that you are the only one who feels a certain way. Frankly, we - as a whole - do not help matters much as a rule. We tend to keep our struggles to ourselves or worse yet, even deny to ourselves that we have them at all. In not being open about (at least some of) our struggles, we may actually be hurting others we know who may be going through a similar struggle of their own by making them believe there is something wrong with them for feeling a certain way. As I said, there is not much of a worse feeling than to think you are the only one. If we try to deny the struggle to ourselves - just hide it somewhere deep inside - we do ourselves no favors. By denying it, we are not allowing God to work it out in us - to help us grow. Worse yet, we may actually be allowing whatever it is grow stronger and deeper within us as it is hidden away within until it eventually reaches a much greater position of strength in our lives.
So do not believe the lie that it is a weakness to share or admit that you have feelings or struggles. Anyways, being weak is not such a bad thing really, after all - "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me." ~ 2 Corinthians 12:9. The weaker we are, the less of us who are present and capable (less of ourselves not less in number) the more that we not only need God but also, the more that He will be seen and glorified.
So I will continue to share. Not only in those things which He shows me as He leads and teaches me, but also in those things which God helps and leads me through as I continue to live this life that He has given me.
To God alone be the all the glory.
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Intentionally Speaking..
So I once knew this guy whose wife wanted him to spend more time with her. His response to her was that he saw her in the morning before work. He saw her after work and during supper time, and later, he saw her when they went to bed. To him, they saw each other all the time.
He did not get it.
Sure he saw her during various times throughout his day, but only as part of the routine. She wanted more.
Now it is not that she necessarily wanted him to somehow come up with extra hours in a 24 hour day or that she wanted him to not go to work or anything of the like. What she was after was "intentional time". That is, time that was specifically set aside for, and devoted to, the two of them - a time in which his thoughts were on her specifically. Whether that meant that he decided to not go out to work in the shop after supper for a couple of hours and instead, spent that time with her, or that he would invite her to be a part of the work he was doing out there.
Kids do a similar thing all the time, especially when they are little I find. They just want to have intentional time spent with them, not just "be there" when you happen to be there. They desire to be focused upon but they also desire to focus on you as well - to be a part of something with you.
Sometimes, we as Christians can just get into the routine of things. Our morning or evening bible/prayer time can just be going through the motions. Our spending time with God becomes a time when He just happens to be there with us (which is always) rather than "intentional time".
Psalm 143:5 "..I meditate on all your works and consider what your hands have done"
When a lot of people think of the word meditate, they get a picture of some guy sitting cross legged and humming. Not quite.
Meditating on God is specifically tuning your thoughts to Him. Spending intentional time with Him rather than just going through the motions of a familiar routine. I have little doubt that He does enjoy when we spend any time at all with Him, but like a child or a spouse, I also have little doubt that He gets great delight when we intentionally focus our time, thoughts and energy on Him - which also means that we get to enjoy Him spending time with us as well (we enjoy our time spent with children or mates as well, do we not). He is always with us, but sometimes - let's be honest here - we take Him and His presence in our lives for granted a bit, so that mutual intentional time spent together...whew, it can be amazing.
He did not get it.
Sure he saw her during various times throughout his day, but only as part of the routine. She wanted more.
Now it is not that she necessarily wanted him to somehow come up with extra hours in a 24 hour day or that she wanted him to not go to work or anything of the like. What she was after was "intentional time". That is, time that was specifically set aside for, and devoted to, the two of them - a time in which his thoughts were on her specifically. Whether that meant that he decided to not go out to work in the shop after supper for a couple of hours and instead, spent that time with her, or that he would invite her to be a part of the work he was doing out there.
Kids do a similar thing all the time, especially when they are little I find. They just want to have intentional time spent with them, not just "be there" when you happen to be there. They desire to be focused upon but they also desire to focus on you as well - to be a part of something with you.
Sometimes, we as Christians can just get into the routine of things. Our morning or evening bible/prayer time can just be going through the motions. Our spending time with God becomes a time when He just happens to be there with us (which is always) rather than "intentional time".
Psalm 143:5 "..I meditate on all your works and consider what your hands have done"
When a lot of people think of the word meditate, they get a picture of some guy sitting cross legged and humming. Not quite.
Meditating on God is specifically tuning your thoughts to Him. Spending intentional time with Him rather than just going through the motions of a familiar routine. I have little doubt that He does enjoy when we spend any time at all with Him, but like a child or a spouse, I also have little doubt that He gets great delight when we intentionally focus our time, thoughts and energy on Him - which also means that we get to enjoy Him spending time with us as well (we enjoy our time spent with children or mates as well, do we not). He is always with us, but sometimes - let's be honest here - we take Him and His presence in our lives for granted a bit, so that mutual intentional time spent together...whew, it can be amazing.
Saturday, October 9, 2010
To The Rescue ...
One of the jobs I have had in my life was working with a traveling carnival (more than one actually). During one of these tours, I found myself in charge of a kids ride called "Raiders". Now if you are not familiar with this, it is more of a fun house than a ride per se. It consisted of a short ramp leading up, then through a number of inflated 'punching bags' that you get to walk through. Then up a few stairs, up a short rope net and onto two rope bridges that stretched from tower to tower. At the end is a long slide leading down to an inflated bag at the bottom. Sounds fun doesn't it?
While many a child did find it fun, there were always some in each place that did not find it so amusing. Typically, there were three places that caused some concern as they went through this. The rope net, the bridges and finally, that long slide.
Now I have seen some people running similar rides at other times and when a child got stuck or scared in one of these parts, they would yell at them to come down and out or send a parent in to get them if they could not do so on their own. This was not how I did things.
When I ran it, if a child got nervous while climbing the net, I would typically move in close behind them - so they knew I was there - then step onto the bottom rung and push down. This would stiffen the net to a more ladder like feel. For some, I would even put my hands beside them so they knew they could not fall far. Not many would get stuck there though. The normal place to freeze was up on the rope bridges.
More than one child has gone flying through the course only to get partially onto the top bridge and freeze solid. Cannot blame them really. It is unnerving a bit - standing there, swaying slightly in the wind, bridge rattling and shaking slightly at around 3 stories in the air. Personally speaking, have never liked heights much so could relate pretty easily. So what happened when one would get up there, see the height and feel the wind and freeze up solid?
As I said before this is my own experience and actions here and know others do things differently.
I would see them freeze up. I would then make my way up to them, taking a short cut or two on the way. After reaching them, I would walk slowly out to them, talking to them the entire way. When I was to where they stood, we would talk a bit more then I would take their hands in mine and put my feet by theirs. Then moving as one, we would make our way across the bridge to the other side. If they were still nervous as they looked down the slide to the ground, I would sit down, put them either between my legs or on them (their preference), brace my feet slightly on the sides (since my 250 pound frame tended to fly down it a fair bit faster than the standard 70 pound child did) and down we would come.
I can honestly say that I believe I only had to do this with the same child twice. Afterward, they would be flying through the course over and over and over again, all by themselves.
As a believer, I can so easily relate to those kids.
The world around is full of scary things. Full of pain, struggles, failures and just lots of other not so pleasant things. While we can struggle and run through many things on our own, sometimes, sometimes things are just too much - too overwhelming. Like the disciples in the boat during the storm, we see the wind and waves, we feel their power against our flesh, and we panic.
Isaiah 41:13 "I am the LORD, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you.".
Thankfully, even in the midst of it all, our God is faithful. When we freeze up and know (or think) that we cannot go another step, He rushes to our aid. Taking our hands in His own He walks us through it - all the way through, never leaving for even a moment. Sure He could just lift us out of there (and sometimes, He does) but many times He leads us through it, so that we will learn and remember that He is there for us - that we do not have to be afraid.
Sometimes we go through the same thing again or something similar. That is okay though. We know that when we can no longer move forward, that He will be there. He never grows tired of the rescue - of being there for His own children.
While many a child did find it fun, there were always some in each place that did not find it so amusing. Typically, there were three places that caused some concern as they went through this. The rope net, the bridges and finally, that long slide.
Now I have seen some people running similar rides at other times and when a child got stuck or scared in one of these parts, they would yell at them to come down and out or send a parent in to get them if they could not do so on their own. This was not how I did things.
When I ran it, if a child got nervous while climbing the net, I would typically move in close behind them - so they knew I was there - then step onto the bottom rung and push down. This would stiffen the net to a more ladder like feel. For some, I would even put my hands beside them so they knew they could not fall far. Not many would get stuck there though. The normal place to freeze was up on the rope bridges.
More than one child has gone flying through the course only to get partially onto the top bridge and freeze solid. Cannot blame them really. It is unnerving a bit - standing there, swaying slightly in the wind, bridge rattling and shaking slightly at around 3 stories in the air. Personally speaking, have never liked heights much so could relate pretty easily. So what happened when one would get up there, see the height and feel the wind and freeze up solid?
As I said before this is my own experience and actions here and know others do things differently.
I would see them freeze up. I would then make my way up to them, taking a short cut or two on the way. After reaching them, I would walk slowly out to them, talking to them the entire way. When I was to where they stood, we would talk a bit more then I would take their hands in mine and put my feet by theirs. Then moving as one, we would make our way across the bridge to the other side. If they were still nervous as they looked down the slide to the ground, I would sit down, put them either between my legs or on them (their preference), brace my feet slightly on the sides (since my 250 pound frame tended to fly down it a fair bit faster than the standard 70 pound child did) and down we would come.
I can honestly say that I believe I only had to do this with the same child twice. Afterward, they would be flying through the course over and over and over again, all by themselves.
As a believer, I can so easily relate to those kids.
The world around is full of scary things. Full of pain, struggles, failures and just lots of other not so pleasant things. While we can struggle and run through many things on our own, sometimes, sometimes things are just too much - too overwhelming. Like the disciples in the boat during the storm, we see the wind and waves, we feel their power against our flesh, and we panic.
Isaiah 41:13 "I am the LORD, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you.".
Thankfully, even in the midst of it all, our God is faithful. When we freeze up and know (or think) that we cannot go another step, He rushes to our aid. Taking our hands in His own He walks us through it - all the way through, never leaving for even a moment. Sure He could just lift us out of there (and sometimes, He does) but many times He leads us through it, so that we will learn and remember that He is there for us - that we do not have to be afraid.
Sometimes we go through the same thing again or something similar. That is okay though. We know that when we can no longer move forward, that He will be there. He never grows tired of the rescue - of being there for His own children.
Monday, October 4, 2010
What do you want to be when you grow up?
Have you ever asked a child what they want to be when they grow up? You can get quite the range of answers to be sure. As they get a bit older though, a lot of times their answers may change based upon someone or something that is currently popular. Like how many would say they wanted to be an actor/actress or a performer like their favorite singer? Many times you may even see them start to use terms like those people or dress like them.
Granted, a good chunk of the time, this is just a phase they are going through and it will change in time. But for some, they feel an actual draw to the profession, deeper than just the fascination that their peers feel. For those, they start to really look into what it takes to become a performer for example. They start taking steps to reaching that goal, like maybe taking up an instrument or focusing on hitting notes when they sing. For these few, their goal has become real to them - they have a direction. While earlier in life their answer to "what do you want to be when you grow up" would have been a performers name, now it is slightly different - "I want to be a performer like (XXXXX)". They know they cannot be the person in question, but they can aim at being like them. And as time goes forward, they may find the road not so easy as it first appeared to be, but some will, in spite of hardship, reach that eventual goal in time.
Ok, I know what you are thinking - "What does this have to do with me?"
Lots.
We read in 1 Peter, chapter 2: "Like newborn babies, crave pure spiritual milk, so that by it you may grow up in your salvation"
Like newborns. A very real picture of each of us after we are first saved by the grace of God. We are, in a very real sense, infants. We have so much to learn and so very much to unlearn. But physical babies do not stay tiny forever anymore than spiritual ones do.
In Ephesians 5 we read "Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children".
If you have children yourself, you may have noticed how they can mimic you and your actions as they try to be just like you. If you do not have your own, you very well may have seen this in other children or recall something from your own childhood.
In Paul's letter to the Philippians, he writes "I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him..".
In that same letter he writes "Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. All of us who are mature should take such a view of things."
Our goal - as those who have been saved - is to become like Him who saved us. This is what we are called to. We may start out as infants, but as we grow, as we mature, the goal to which we strive "must" be to become more like God. And to think that merely going through the motions or doing a bunch of stuff (even some things we may try and hide by using the word ministry) will accomplish that goal, is about the same as someone thinking that just because they can sing karaoke at a bar makes them the same as the original artist.
Too many think the goal is to do more. Doing is a good thing but doing on your own power or to try and earn something, that is a different story. Consider the child who mimics their parent. If they did not spend time with them, know how they act and think (at least partially so), how well would that mimicking be? Not well at all, I dare say. They could try doing things but without that frame of reference, it would be hit and miss at best.
Our first and primary task must be to spend time with Him. To get to know Him. To know how He thinks (the best we can). Not to memorize a bunch of rules nor to try doing a bunch of stuff hoping to get lucky. How amazing would it be if we could all recognize His hand and work on a glance without having to wonder or question, especially if it were something we had never seen or been exposed to before. To know Him so deeply that we just know.
Here is something to consider. If we know our God that well, that intimately, then guess what will happen with regards to doing? We will just do stuff because we will just know that is what He would do if He were standing right there in our stead. Not because we are trying to earn anything or think that it will get us in good with Him or because we think we have to. We just will, since that is what He would do.
So I have one small question for you: what do you want to be (or whom do you wish to be like) when you grow up?
Granted, a good chunk of the time, this is just a phase they are going through and it will change in time. But for some, they feel an actual draw to the profession, deeper than just the fascination that their peers feel. For those, they start to really look into what it takes to become a performer for example. They start taking steps to reaching that goal, like maybe taking up an instrument or focusing on hitting notes when they sing. For these few, their goal has become real to them - they have a direction. While earlier in life their answer to "what do you want to be when you grow up" would have been a performers name, now it is slightly different - "I want to be a performer like (XXXXX)". They know they cannot be the person in question, but they can aim at being like them. And as time goes forward, they may find the road not so easy as it first appeared to be, but some will, in spite of hardship, reach that eventual goal in time.
Ok, I know what you are thinking - "What does this have to do with me?"
Lots.
We read in 1 Peter, chapter 2: "Like newborn babies, crave pure spiritual milk, so that by it you may grow up in your salvation"
Like newborns. A very real picture of each of us after we are first saved by the grace of God. We are, in a very real sense, infants. We have so much to learn and so very much to unlearn. But physical babies do not stay tiny forever anymore than spiritual ones do.
In Ephesians 5 we read "Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children".
If you have children yourself, you may have noticed how they can mimic you and your actions as they try to be just like you. If you do not have your own, you very well may have seen this in other children or recall something from your own childhood.
In Paul's letter to the Philippians, he writes "I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him..".
In that same letter he writes "Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. All of us who are mature should take such a view of things."
Our goal - as those who have been saved - is to become like Him who saved us. This is what we are called to. We may start out as infants, but as we grow, as we mature, the goal to which we strive "must" be to become more like God. And to think that merely going through the motions or doing a bunch of stuff (even some things we may try and hide by using the word ministry) will accomplish that goal, is about the same as someone thinking that just because they can sing karaoke at a bar makes them the same as the original artist.
Too many think the goal is to do more. Doing is a good thing but doing on your own power or to try and earn something, that is a different story. Consider the child who mimics their parent. If they did not spend time with them, know how they act and think (at least partially so), how well would that mimicking be? Not well at all, I dare say. They could try doing things but without that frame of reference, it would be hit and miss at best.
Our first and primary task must be to spend time with Him. To get to know Him. To know how He thinks (the best we can). Not to memorize a bunch of rules nor to try doing a bunch of stuff hoping to get lucky. How amazing would it be if we could all recognize His hand and work on a glance without having to wonder or question, especially if it were something we had never seen or been exposed to before. To know Him so deeply that we just know.
Here is something to consider. If we know our God that well, that intimately, then guess what will happen with regards to doing? We will just do stuff because we will just know that is what He would do if He were standing right there in our stead. Not because we are trying to earn anything or think that it will get us in good with Him or because we think we have to. We just will, since that is what He would do.
So I have one small question for you: what do you want to be (or whom do you wish to be like) when you grow up?
Friday, October 1, 2010
Don't You Remember?
Memory is a funny thing. We tend to remember things we really should forget about, and yet, forget those things which we should remember.
Has this ever happened to you? You jump up and go to another room to get something. You walk in and then just stand there in the middle of the room staring, with no idea what so ever what it was you came in for. I know it has happened to me more than a time or two.
Our life with Christ is little different than this. We all seem to suffer from chronic short term memory loss.
In the bible we read about how the people were led out of Egypt. Now one would think that after years of slavery plus seeing how God worked up close and personal, the people would have no problem keeping on track. After all, they did get to follow Him along as they traveled as a pillar of cloud during the day and a pillar of fire at night, which never left them (See Exodus 13). They even saw the Lord fight the battle for them against the Egyptians (Exodus 14). So obviously, the people had no problems remembering who God was right?
Wrong. It seemed that every time something came up they started to whine and complain about how they just should have stayed in Egypt. Of how much better off they were back there. And what did God do? Did He do the human response and just say "fine then, back you go"? No. God is God so He did extraordinary things time and time again. Even with wonder after wonder performed, they "still" kept forgetting (building an idol in the desert comes to mind - Exodus 32).
We read the account and shake our heads. How could they forget so quickly? Did they not see and hear and experience? But honestly, are we so different?
I try and take time early in the day to spend some "quality time" with the Lord. I know some people do so at different times, but early has always seemed to work best for me. There have been times in which, for whatever reason, I have not spent that time with Him or I have just hurriedly gone through the motions of it. After a day or two of this, I notice that things seem to give me a bit more of a kicking than normal. Temptations seem greater in number and their succes rates seem to go up noticably. Old things start to pop back up into my head a lot more as well. This has happened more than once. So one would think I would be very intent upon getting that time in with Him. Since it has happened more than once, well, obviously I have my moments. Like the people in the dessert, I forget and need to be reminded. I know I am personally thankful for just how patient God is.
In Matthew 6:27, Jesus asks the question "Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?" as He explains how we are not to worry about things in this world. So how many of us forget that and worry ourselves sick on a regular basis? He goes on again "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own" in verse 34, reminding us to stay in the "here and now", but how many of us worry about a future that we honestly cannot see or even know if we will be there for?
Then we get feeling alone in the world and we forget that He is always with us - Matthew 28:20 - "...surely I am with you always...". He has promised to never leave us or forsake us. To always be there. To always take care of us like the perfect father He is. Knowing what we need and providing it even before we ourselves know it as a need.
And still we forget.
So what are we to do? Well, spending time with Him daily is a good starting place. Making a point to read His word daily is another good idea. Another idea is to keep a record of your own. At those times in which you feel God has been noticeably more active, or has done something very cool, or has made His presence known at a time in which you needed to know He was there, or...well, you get the idea - make a note of it. You do not have to write out a novel or carve a monument, although if you can write a novel, by all means. Just something to remind you of those times so you can look back when you need to...when you forget.
Remember, our God is faithful. He promised to never leave us alone. That He would be with us always. He has kept those promises to everyone who follows Him and He is not likely going to start breaking His word with you.
Remember.
Has this ever happened to you? You jump up and go to another room to get something. You walk in and then just stand there in the middle of the room staring, with no idea what so ever what it was you came in for. I know it has happened to me more than a time or two.
Our life with Christ is little different than this. We all seem to suffer from chronic short term memory loss.
In the bible we read about how the people were led out of Egypt. Now one would think that after years of slavery plus seeing how God worked up close and personal, the people would have no problem keeping on track. After all, they did get to follow Him along as they traveled as a pillar of cloud during the day and a pillar of fire at night, which never left them (See Exodus 13). They even saw the Lord fight the battle for them against the Egyptians (Exodus 14). So obviously, the people had no problems remembering who God was right?
Wrong. It seemed that every time something came up they started to whine and complain about how they just should have stayed in Egypt. Of how much better off they were back there. And what did God do? Did He do the human response and just say "fine then, back you go"? No. God is God so He did extraordinary things time and time again. Even with wonder after wonder performed, they "still" kept forgetting (building an idol in the desert comes to mind - Exodus 32).
We read the account and shake our heads. How could they forget so quickly? Did they not see and hear and experience? But honestly, are we so different?
I try and take time early in the day to spend some "quality time" with the Lord. I know some people do so at different times, but early has always seemed to work best for me. There have been times in which, for whatever reason, I have not spent that time with Him or I have just hurriedly gone through the motions of it. After a day or two of this, I notice that things seem to give me a bit more of a kicking than normal. Temptations seem greater in number and their succes rates seem to go up noticably. Old things start to pop back up into my head a lot more as well. This has happened more than once. So one would think I would be very intent upon getting that time in with Him. Since it has happened more than once, well, obviously I have my moments. Like the people in the dessert, I forget and need to be reminded. I know I am personally thankful for just how patient God is.
In Matthew 6:27, Jesus asks the question "Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?" as He explains how we are not to worry about things in this world. So how many of us forget that and worry ourselves sick on a regular basis? He goes on again "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own" in verse 34, reminding us to stay in the "here and now", but how many of us worry about a future that we honestly cannot see or even know if we will be there for?
Then we get feeling alone in the world and we forget that He is always with us - Matthew 28:20 - "...surely I am with you always...". He has promised to never leave us or forsake us. To always be there. To always take care of us like the perfect father He is. Knowing what we need and providing it even before we ourselves know it as a need.
And still we forget.
So what are we to do? Well, spending time with Him daily is a good starting place. Making a point to read His word daily is another good idea. Another idea is to keep a record of your own. At those times in which you feel God has been noticeably more active, or has done something very cool, or has made His presence known at a time in which you needed to know He was there, or...well, you get the idea - make a note of it. You do not have to write out a novel or carve a monument, although if you can write a novel, by all means. Just something to remind you of those times so you can look back when you need to...when you forget.
Remember, our God is faithful. He promised to never leave us alone. That He would be with us always. He has kept those promises to everyone who follows Him and He is not likely going to start breaking His word with you.
Remember.
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