So a slightly different variety of post today, although not quite sure that I have a normal variety to begin with.
"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me."~2 Cor.12:9
Weakness. We tend to have so much trouble admitting that we have any - even with ourselves.
Allow me to introduce myself...
My given name is Troy...and I do have weaknesses.
I have not always been a Christian, since no one is born saved. Even if you are brought up a in a Christian home, you still need to make that choice on your own - you cannot inherit salvation.
Since I have not always been saved, and the fact that I was well into my life on this globe when I did get saved, I have lived a life before knowing Christ. So I share a few tidbits about that life from before.
I know what it feels like to be addicted. To have a substance control me rather than me controlling it. To feel helpless against it even if I tried to fight it with all I had. To lose that battle again and again.
I know what it is to be in trouble for trying to be something I am not. To suffer the consequences, whatever those may be, for my actions as I attempted to fit in where, really, I never belonged.
I know what it feels like to be cruel. To use and hurt people for my own benefit, whether that was done intentionally or not doesn't matter - although it has been done both ways.
I know what it is like to not believe there is a God - at least the God of the bible that is. I know what it is like to actively worship other gods, things, and yes, even the enemy. I know what it is like to try and argue a believer OUT of their faith.
I know and have known fear, doubt, selfish ambitions, pride, jealousy, envy and pretty much anything else you can think of to add to that list.
I know these things because I have lived them - because I have been to those places - have dwelt within the darkness of the void and saw no way out.
I would so love at this point to tell you how that was then and this is now. But I will not lie in here, as I have said before.
While indeed, much is gone, much of the old remains. I do still have fears. There are times in which I do not trust God anywhere near as much as I should. There are times in which I sit in judgement of another, even though I have learned, that many times what I see in another is recognized easily because it is with me as well. There are times in which my own ambitions and plans for whatever are focussed upon primarily when it should be God's which are.
I am so very, very far from perfect.
I still make far more mistakes than I would like to.
Yes, I - Troy - have weaknesses. Oodles upon oodles actually.
That said, if there is any truth in the pages of this blog; if there is any knowledge or wisdom of any kind that you may find written within these pages - rest assured, it does not come from me. All that I have, all the knowledge I have ever learned or whatever false wisdom this life has led me to believe I ever had...is worthless. Any that may come onto these pages or from my lips is from God and for His glory alone - so praise God (never me).
I may not know all (most) of the answers, but I do know where to find them - that is, who has them.
There is so much more I would love to share with you. But I will leave you with this final tidbit: if you find yourself in the void; if you do not know where to go or how to find the way out; if you seek answers or guidance or direction - I know where to go for I have been there.
"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you." ~ Matthew 7:7
Turn to God. Turn to the One whom He sent - Jesus. Ask. Seek. Find.
What do you have to lose? Nothing you want to keep. What do you have to gain? Everything.
To God Almighty and Christ Jesus go all the praise and glory.
Amen. Amen.
