Can We Relate

*Have you ever noticed that, more often than not, what the world dictates as being normal or “the way it is” tends to be the opposite of what God says.  Funny that.*

I have a bit more written out on this one, but pretty sure that at least part of it is “just me” rambling away, so that part will be staying tucked away on my drive for now and we will be keeping this one short, sweet and to the point.

Relationship is a word that seems to be everywhere around us and well it should be, since we all have them with everyone from family to God.  But do we really understand what one is?  Not by clinical definition, but rather, what the basic look of a relationship is.

The world at large would tell us that a relationship involves us – ourselves as individuals – first and foremost.  That when we are in a relationship, we have to look at things like “are our needs being met” and “what do we get out of it”.

But “the world” is not to be our model now, is it.  No, our ultimate model – especially in this area – is to Christ and the Church (note:  Big “C” Church refers to the Body of Christ, that is, those who believe, and not a particular building or denomination).  With that in mind, can we see a slightly different point of view?

Christ gave Himself to the Church, even to the point of laying down His very life, to give them what they needed – salvation and freedom.  He even sent His Spirit to lead, guide, teach and empower them – again, something they (we) so desperately needed.  Our needs.

The long and short of it is simple.

Relationships.  All Relationships.  They are ALL about GIVING, not getting.  Regardless of whom that relationship is with.  Family, friends, children, partner and yes, even God.

It is not “all about me”.  It is about the other.

It is not about my needs.  It is about another’s needs.

It is not about what I can get.  It is about what I can give.

As seems to be the case in a great many things:  it is NOT all about me.

**An after thought**

As is the case with much, if not all, of the posts in here how you look at them is of importance.
If you read the above and start to think about things like "that is their problem, they are not thinking of my needs" or any other possible variation thereof, you are thinking about - say it with me kiddies - starts with an M and ends with an E:  ME.  Do not read then begin to think how anyone, other than yourself, needs to know or hear or act or change or...well, you get the idea.

Quick Fix

Did you know that the Subway restaurant chain has a yearly competition known as "Sub Jamming"?  In this, employees from all over gather together and compete to make  (correctly and to exact formula) a 12-inch sub sandwich as quickly as possible.  Not just to toss the ingredients on the bread, oh no, they start with the piece of bread, add all ingredients, wrap and then bag it, ready to go out the door.  Here is the kicker for you:  if you cannot do it in less than 40 seconds, you won't even be there unless you are cheering on a co-worker.  I do not know about you, but I cannot make a peanut butter sandwich in less than 40 seconds let alone anything fancier.

While the "sub jammers" speed is a bit impressive, the fact that it is done should be no big shocker to anyone.  After all, we do live in a day and age in which "instant gratification" is the name of the game - we want what we want and we want it now.  On demand TV gives us whatever programming we want all but instantly.  High speed internet is always getting faster and still we tend to want more speed - like the 3 seconds we wait for our Facebook page to load is a forever.  Instant food of all varieties has become the norm.  Quick fix diets to get us ready for "swim suit season" taking the place of the slow and steady diet/lifestyle choices we know are the better route.  Let's face it, slow and steady may win the race but for the most part, we would rather just be teleported (via Star Trek transporter) to the end right off the get go.

Problem is when it comes to those things of the spirit and the heart, God still very much believes in the slow and steady over the instantaneous.  See, there is a point to this.

Chances are, if you are a believer, you have at some point in time prayed for change.  Something you have seen within yourself - whether behavior, habit or thought pattern - has bothered you to see it there as a part of you and you have wanted it gone.  Now in the defense of most of us, when we ask for it to be gone or changed and we say something to the extent of "not caring how long it takes or what we have to do", we do mean it at the time.  But...

"The spirit is willing, but the body is weak." ~ Matthew 26:41

On occasion, God does create within us an instant change.  Sometimes we are healed of whatever or delivered from any number of things including addictions on the spot.  Which, for the record, is cool as all get out.  But that is not exactly the norm now is it?

Romans 12:2 says "be transformed by the renewing of your mind".

Did you know that a butterfly is not merely a flying caterpillar?  That when the time is right, the lowly caterpillar forms its' cocoon and basically, dissolves.  It becomes goo.  The butterfly which emerges is a completely different creature than what went into it.  Pretty cool really.  And a great image for our lives if one thinks about it especially in terms of 2 Cor.5:17 - "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!"

The caterpillar does not force itself to change nor can it do anything to speed that process up any.  It takes time and when the exact right amount of it has passed, it has been done and done right and the butterfly emerges and take flight.

God is not merely content to cover up or mask our various issues, flaws and deep seeded pains.  Instead, He wants to get to the root of them.  To heal and remove the underlying cause, not merely mask the symptom.  But this can take time.  Especially since we tend to shrink back when things get uncomfortable.  When we are made to peer intently into the mirror and see our reflection staring back at us.  When we have to see our past.  When we must honestly view our very own thoughts and realize that many of those flaws we see in others exist full blown within ourselves as well.

Let's be honest, we do not like being uncomfortable nor do we like pain.  It is painful after all, right?  (am at least that coherent - I did have a coffee this morning).  And unfortunately, when we see the waves (much like Peter did in Matthew 14:28-30), we get scared.  Worst case scenarios fill our minds and we shrink back.  Those things which seem to have been delivering the greatest results, we turn away from.

Why can't you just "make" me happy right now?  Why can't you just "force me" to trust people?  "Make" me honestly forgive others...

Technically, He could.  He is God after all, He does have the power to do so.  But to force - against your will (you are unwilling to continue after all) - is against His character and that He cannot do.  God can be no One other than God.  He never changes.  Lot of comfort in that really.

You know, a guy could probably do a novel on this topic.  I suspect many have before, and many more may do so again.  But I am not writing to tell you what it is you (probably) already know.  I am not writing because I read a book about it or some inspiring devotional or just learned about the gooey caterpillar thing (have known that for a bit now).  This is so you know that you are not alone.

If you have prayed for change and have shrunk back when things started to get uncomfortable, do not beat yourself up over it.  None of us like pain and we all tend to like being comfortable over the other option.  None of us, self included, like to admit that we have flaws and short comings, but we do.  We are human.  We have lived our lives in a world  which has taught us so many less than good things and has caused us no shortage of pain.  But the change "is" worth it.  God will not force you.  His patience is well beyond anything we can fathom.  Which is a really, really good thing because, I do not know about you, but I can be pretty stubborn sometimes.

So what do we do when it seems like things may be starting to get a bit more difficult than we would like?  Well, consider the splinter.  Would you rather put up with it or get it out and over with?  Probably the latter.

Pray.  Hold true to the course you are on.  He will not leave you when you need Him the most.  Nor will He take you anyplace you cannot handle with Him.  He knows your limitations far better than you do and His love for you is beyond measure.  He leads you there because He does not want to see you go through the same struggles over and over.

You may still want your sub sandwich in less than 40 seconds, but when it comes to matters of the spirit and the heart - say no to the quick fix of a mask and go for the real thing.

In God We Trust

For those of us who are a believer and follower of Christ, the phrase "In God we trust" is (supposed to be) more than just a phrase that appears upon US currency, but rather, more of a life long motto and statement of fact.  And while we do say it, do we really mean it?  Do we really trust God?

For instance, no few know the scripture verse from Matthew chapter 6, verse 34:  "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself."  Yet, we do still worry, do we not.  And not even always about huge life and death matters but, more often than not, we do sweat the "little things".  While one could probably fill pages about trusting God with everything from our tiny day to day cares to those of much greater span, that is not what has been placed upon my heart and mind at the moment.

At this moment, it is FORGIVENESS which has my focus.

Now then, we know that we are called by Christ to forgive.  That is (or it should be anyway) nothing new especially to those of us who call ourselves by His name.  We are to forgive, just as we ourselves, have been forgiven.

It may come as a bit of a suprise to you, that just saying "I forgive <whatever>/<whomever>" does not make it so.  After all, it is our heart that God sees with such amazing clarity and not whatever lip  service we say and offer or whatever forced action we may take.  So merely saying the phrase yet still holding onto resentment or bitterness within our heart towards another, is of little use and is as a fake as a "three dollar bill".  So what does the term "In God we trust" have to do with forgiveness?

Everything.

You know, I have been trying to just rattle off a nice little example to use here, but since this is one of those times in which I am writing as He walks me personally through things, it appears that this will be another one of those times in which I get to share some personal information.

Some time back, I went through a pretty rough spot in life.  A long term relationship had ended.  Friendships were broken.  Seperation from a church that I was comfortable in.  People whom I had considered to be friends seemingly vanished from my life.  All in all, a pretty icky time period for yours truly.  And, as you may have noticed, there were other people involved.  And yes, a good chunk were saved themselves which, I got to tell you, made things all the harder to deal with.  Now then, I am not so foolish as to lay full blame upon others.  I played my part and for that I do take responsiblity.  But, I do have to admit here that I was hurt.  Very to be honest.

Now as a "good little Christian" I would so love to tell you that I forgave and just moved on.  I could tell you that but, as any who follow this to any amount should know, I try to be honest.  So I cannot tell you that even though I did try and tell myself that all the while with some rather nasty stuff away churning within me.

I did try to forgive those whom I had perceived to have intentionally caused me such pain and suffering (I say perceived because we frequently tend to see things from our view point that another may not either see nor even meant).  But all I was doing was saying it.  Eventually, God was gracious enough to allow me to see that and led me to search out a bit more about what actually forgiving someone was.  About how it involved releasing another's (or my own) actions from my own personal judgements among other things.  How it is a choice that we make - we choose to forgive - it is an action not merely a passive decision.

So had I forgiven the past after that little tour?  While I was closer, again I must admit that no, I had not completely let it go.  Some still hung on.  And I knew it.  Until He gave me that final puzzle piece that (somehow) I had missed in the shuffle.

"In God we trust"

Romans 8, verse 28 reads:  "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him.."

I have said it before and I will say it again - I have been truly blessed in that God allows me to see purpose in past events - both good and bad.  I know it is not something that everyone sees, so yes, I do consider myself blessed.

At present, I am back in the town I grew up in and had no happy memories of.  That has changed as I see it so differently than I did when I was growing up here.  Then again, since we "are" new creations upon salvation, I guess "I" never really did live here before in a sense.  I am in a relationship with a wonderful Christian woman who shares so much of my own heart in so many different areas, not the least of which is all things of Christ in nature.  I have become a bit closer to my parents than I had been probably ever before.  And, it appears that I am to be entering university this upcoming fall to study theology as I have finally finished arguing and trying to comprimise with God over the call He has put so very hard upon my life.

Sounds good eh?  Here is the kicker - NONE of that would have likely been even vaguely possible had I still been in that nice comfortable place I had been in before.  Had not God allowed those (unpleasant) events to unfold in my life, I would have missed so very, very much.

Now the tie in between forgiveness, Romans 8:28 and our recurring theme becomes much clearer.

IF I truly do trust God and that does include believing what He says in Romans 8 (and the rest of His word as well), then how could I even conceive holding any kind of resentment towards another due to, well, anything really.  See, in my own case, had He not allowed things to happen the way they had, I would not be where I am now.  That does not even take into account whatever has happened with everyone else involved or with those whom I have become involved with since.  Things played out the way they did because they had to for (at least) MY own good.  God knew what I needed after all just as well as He knew what He needed and wanted from me.

Do you see it?  Those things in our life that we can so easily hold a grudge against someone because of - if we truly trust that God is in control and that He is doing what is the best for us - then they are almost no more than stepping stones along the way.  Whether they be for our benefit, anothers' or both.  Granted we may never get to see all of the purpose behind things, but to trust in Him means that we KNOW that there is a purpose and it is a good one for all concerned.

So trust God and make the conscious decision to let go of those wounded feelings and ill will - forgive just as you have been forgiven.

Well, I would but...

One of, if not my all time, favorite verses from the Bible are Jesus' words in Matthew chapter 9, verse 13 - "I desire mercy, not sacrifice". Five little words, yet they say so much.

God is hardly interested in what I can give up for Him. After all, one does not need to know God to have willpower. I dare say there is no small number of people who do not know Him at all who have no shortage of it. Lots of people are capable of self-denial to get what they want - losing weight, quitting a habit, life style changes, getting ahead in school or work, etc. No, willpower is not what He seeks from me anymore than it is what He seeks from you.

Mercy, on the other hand, is a different story.

But what is mercy?

Mercy, is basically grace with a bit extra added on to it. Real clear definition there Troy.

Consider this: you have an acquaintance whom has stated a need/want. Now you know this person somewhat well, and know that they tend to take advantage no small amount of the time. They seem to live the saying "get an inch, take a mile" - taking all they can when the opportunity affords itself. Allowing others to do what they perhaps should do themselves. We all know people like that - it may even be us from time to time.

So what is our response to them when they ask? If we choose to say "no", what are our reasons?

"Why should I help them? They were not there for me last week."
"I have to do this alone, why should they get help?"
"They are just trying to take advantage of my good nature."
"Serves them right to have this happen."
"If they were more like me..."

Any of those sound familiar?

Here is the fun part - those responses (and many others like them) drip heavy with resentment, bitterness and spite. You may have noticed the lack of the terms "love" and "mercy". If any of this is hitting a "chord" then good, we all need our chords hit now and then.

Love and mercy would dictate that we help - without expecting ANYTHING in return for our efforts - in spite of the fact that they may not deserve it or that we may be taken advantage of. Only God may judge the heart - theirs and ours alike. We are not to look for the mercy we show to be returned to us by any person on the planet - our mercy is given to us by the One who has it freely to give in abundance.

"I desire mercy, not sacrifice"

Great. You have enough willpower to deny yourself that chocolate bar or to force yourself to work out longer or to follow whatever little rule list you can find to follow. Good for you.

Now try this out - forget about yourself for a change. Forget all about what you think you deserve, what the world owes you or how much you had to strive and suffer whenever. Look at those around you. We have all felt pain. We have all worked and fought through this life. Should not seeing another human being struggling through life on this fallen world fill us with compassion? The deep desire to show the love of our God to someone who may be in a place we know all too well ourselves? To show love and mercy. After all, we do not deserve ANY of the mercy we are (and have been) shown. We are saved by grace, not by works (Eph.2:8,9).

A final note from the book of Jonah: "Do you have a right to be angry?"
(Hint - the answer has two letters, starts with an N and ends with an O).

Deep Cover

I can relate to the tragedy that we see portrayed movies, tv and (probably) real life with the life of the under cover detective. Not the one who is in and out of whatever precarious situation, no, the plight of the one who "goes deep", becoming their enemy for long periods of time in order to more completely defeat them. The tragedy that we so often see with these characters occurs when they are in too deep for too long and start to believe they really are the gangster - they forget who they "really" are and become that which they truly hate. As a believer and follower of Christ, yes, I can relate all too well.

A common phrase which is said among the Church describes this very thing - that we are to be "in the world" not "of the world" (1 Corinthians 9:19-23 also has a very similar tone, as do other passages).

Consider this, if you will. 2 Corinthians 5:20 calls us ambassadors of Christ. In a worldly sense, we understand the role of an ambassador easy enough, but somehow, we seem to forget that we apply it to the truth of our own lives in Christ. After all, we are told that this world is not our home - that we are here only temporarily (Philippians 3:20 and 1 Peter 2:11-12, as a couple of examples). So why do we continually act as though we are the gangster - a true part not merely an undercover agent?

I mean really, think, really think about just some of the things that God says and us - we are the light of the world, salt of the earth, His children, heirs with Christ (and far more than even that). Makes us sound a lot more heavenly than worldly doesn't it.

Remember Church! Remember who you really are. You are the child of the King! A beautiful, perfect son or daughter of the King of Kings sent into this time and space for a season as His ambassador, His representative of the only true kingdom which shall never fade, fail or go away. Do not get caught up and all but become the world around you. Remember the Truth.

In the words of the apostle Paul:

"I am torn between the two: I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far; but it is more necessary for you that I remain in the body. Convinced of this, I know that I will remain, and I will continue with all of you for your progress and joy in the faith, so that through my being with you again your joy in Christ Jesus will overflow on account of me" ` Phil. 1:23 - 26

It is not for our own sakes we remain here, but for a world that is lost, deaf and blind and for our Lord who desires all to come to a knowledge of the truth that lies in Christ Jesus, our Lord.

Know What I Feel Like?

But the waves are calling out my name
and they laugh at me
Reminding me of all the times
I've tried before and failed
The waves they keep on telling me
time and time again
"Boy, you'll never win,
You you'll never win

But the Voice of truth tells me a different story
the Voice of truth says "do not be afraid!"
And the Voice of truth says "this is for My glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the Voice of truth.

~The Voice of Truth – Casting Crowns (2004)

You know, the intro at the top of this page tells the general what and why I do this. How we can so easily forget what we know the truth to actually be sometimes. I use the term we because, frankly, I am most definitely in that category. Take recent events, for example.

I am not going to go into all the particulars, but I will say that, over the last bit of time in my life, I had forgotten who I actually was. You see, I had a run of events in my life that were, how shall we say, less than pleasant mixed in with some which “should” have been quite pleasant. But I got distracted and I choose to identify myself with circumstance and feeling rather than with anything I knew to be true. To say it was disabling is an understatement of gigantic proportion.

What type of circumstance or feeling you may ask? Allow me to fire a couple out there for you (although hardly complete). Now the following may or may not be my exact circumstances, but I can say that if they were not those recent ones, they have existed for yours truly.

Something ends - specifically, something like a job or an intimate relationship. Or perhaps we say “yes” to the wrong impulse and stumble into the muck and mire of a less than pleasant place, perhaps from out of our very own past. How often in those moments do we identify ourselves with that “ending”? How many of us have felt as though we had been rightfully rejected? That we were worth very little, if anything at all, to ourselves or anyone else? That we were a failure. That we were alone, not only in our circumstance or situation, but in life in general. That we were of no use to anyone, including God. That we were no different than we had ever been in our past lives. That we would never be anything other than just another screw up. That there is no possible way that God could ever really want us or use us for anything other than perhaps to show others “what not to do”. That we were certainly doomed to a life and eternity of judgement and condemnation. And lastly, that God (or anyone else – selves included) could never, ever truly love us where we are right now.

Any of those sound familiar to you? If they don’t, I dare say many must be at least a tiny bit envious of you – whether right or wrong. But if they do have a ring of familiarity, trust me on this on, you are not alone by a long shot. Not even close.

You see, while it is easy enough to start to identify ones-self with how we feel or based upon what we are going through in the moment, there is a slight problem with that – temporary. Our feelings change from one moment to the next, as do our circumstances in this life. Even those which are far less than pleasant, do fade into the past eventually – although in the moment we may feel like our life is all but completely over or see no reason we should even think about going on.

Consider if we were to do that all the time, with all feelings that we have and not just those which come in our darkest moments (which is when we tend to do just that). How interesting it would be to sit and watch cable TV for a full day and evening. Sometimes deep in reflective thought, sometimes laughing like a fool and other times sobbing all but uncontrollably. If you were to try and identify yourself with those “feelings” brought on by what you were viewing and hearing, you would be a wreck – not a clue in the world who or even, what, you actually were. Honestly, does not make much sense any other time either.

Okay then, who, you may ask, am I (feel free to drop your own name in there in place of the “I”)? Here is a quick, partial answer (again, by no means complete) for you:

I am the light of the world (Matthew 5:14)

I am a child of God (John 1:12)

I am a friend of Jesus and He is my friend (John 15:15)

I am united with the Lord and am one in Spirit with Him (1 Cor.6:17)

I am righteous and holy (Eph. 4:24)

I am chosen by God, holy and dearly loved by Him (Col.3:12)

I do not belong to the night or the darkness, but I am a child of the light (1 Thess.5:5)

I have been justified and have peace with God (Romans 5:1)

I am forever free from condemnation (Romans 8:1)

Now here is something for you to “really” stop and think about:

None of those are true because I say they are true. None of those are true because of how you, or I, feel. None of those are true because of where we currently find ourselves in this life of ours.

They are TRUE BECAUSE GOD SAYS THEY ARE TRUE ABOUT YOU!

These are not things which you or I have to aspire to. These are things that the Lord God says currently about you and I.

So do not get caught off guard and start to identify yourself with how you feel or what is going on or what has recently gone on or what you think someone else may feel about you. Those things change all but constantly. Listen and believe the voice of TRUTH and tell all those other voices to just "shut up".

One Year Later

How about a quickie Q & A towards the believers, to get things rolling?

Do you know why you are called a "Christian"?

Do you know why those in the early church - apostles included - came to identify themselves as "Christians"?

I do not mean how the word came into being, I mean do you know why we are called by that name?

Quick answer time: because...drum roll please... we follow CHRIST! Shocking, eh?

Well, it might be for some actually.

Father, Son, Spirit. All three different, yet the same. No matter how you try and describe or think or picture them together as One, something always seems lacking somewhat. I suspect it is a slight limitation of our own minds to be honest - although really, who wants to follow a God you can figure out easily with your own brain power - takes away from some of the reverent awe.

Now I have known people who focus primarily on the Spirit. Not such a bad thing to pay attention to Him since He does tend to get less attention than He truly deserves by times. After all, it is He and His presence and power that makes life even possible for us not to mention ministry, etc. Unfortunately, some focus a tad too much on Him and really, for a lot of wrong reasons. What wrong reasons could there be? Well, how about only looking to and for Him to get what you want out of Him? "Make me giggle, make me cry, make me quiver, make me feel warm and fuzzy, etc". Now do not take me to be saying anything against the experience of the manifest presence of God Almighty. But it is those who come and seek Him as more of a parlor magician at a kids party (pull a rabbit out of your hat, make a balloon animal, pull scarves out of your nose, etc) than the Spirit of God Himself, whom I personally think may have some off motives. And really, somehow I cannot picture Him being pleased with being looked at in that way - He is God after all.

Others focus primarily on God the Father. Again, nothing wrong with focusing on Him. He is God after all. He is the Beginning and the End, the Alpha and the Omega, the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. Eternal, Invisible, Creator, Awesome. He is God. 'Nuff said. We are told that we are not to worry as God will provide for us (isn't that a hard one by times?). That He takes care of us. That He knew us even before we were born (that's pretty cool if you think about it). He is very much Father. Which is why we also get discipline from Him as well. After all, sometimes children need correction to keep them from going in a direction that may cause them immediate, or latter, pain and problems. We are by far, no different. Perhaps, identifying God the Father as "merely" being in a provider/parent role is over simplifying His position and role, but it does get the point across for the time being. Again, not saying not to focus on Him either anymore than we are to ignore the Spirit.

Now here is where things get interesting. I have found that sometimes, some of us, in our quest for knowledge and understanding (among other things) seem to forget a few, somewhat important, tidbits. Such as, you may wonder. How about:

The CROSS.

It was Jesus who took the cross. Jesus who bled. Jesus who died to pay the price for OUR sins - not His, ours. Jesus who rose and kicked the tar out of death in the process. It is Jesus who bought us - totally - at a high price - His own blood.

It is Jesus to whom we belong. Jesus to whom we owe our allegiance. It is Jesus whom we follow. Just as the apostles followed Him. We are His disciples. We are not called disciples of the Spirit. Nor of the Father. In Jesus' own words, to see Him is to see the Father. He and the Father are One.

The early church knew the person of the Holy Spirit far better than I suspect most of us do. They did not follow Him. They relied on Him for guidance, counsel and power to do whatever it was that needed done in the moment - whether that just surviving life or raising the dead. The Spirit testifies about the person of Christ Jesus - he points to Him - He bring us closer to knowing Him from the inside out.

The Old Testament talked about Him constantly - pointed to Him (ever read the OT just to see "how" many places Jesus is referenced to - is pretty cool to say the least).

Jesus is our Savior, our Shepherd, our Master and our King.

In the end, it is very much all about Jesus.

And if you lose sight of who He is, and who He is to be to you, you are in deep doo doo.

Remember The Father. Do not ignore The Spirit. And, no matter what, do not forget about The Son.

So one year after the Panicking Christian left hard copy and went online, I had thought that perhaps this timely post would be something reflective. Or perhaps with all the changes in my life, it would be more relevant to change and holding on. Apparently though, it seems that a quick back to the basics has been the order of the day instead. Go figure, what He wants me to write and what I thought I wanted to write turned out to be different things (bit of sarcasm there - it happens ALOT).

Thank you for reading and being a part of this with me. As always, to God goes the glory. Forever and ever, Amen.